Today, my boys are 6 and 8. I feel like the last year has been quite a journey for me. My sons are old enough now to take care of many things themselves and I've now started to have a little time of my own to be creative. To make something or do something for myself. It really has been life changing for me. I feel like I'm breaking the chains of no self worth... or being comfortable and not taking risks... fear...
And one of the reasons for this change in myself? Controlling my anxiety. I've always been an anxious person - and now I've realized I've had anxiety since I was a young girl. I remember crying uncontrollably as I was positive I was going to catch meningitis from my teacher who probably caught it from her son who probably caught it while playing hockey with the boy that died from it.Yeah, that didn't happen. There are many other things that I realized were huge signs of anxiety that I didn't realize until now - in my late 20's. So when I started taking medicine that calmed me down, life was brighter. Life was sweeter. Life was much more amazing. I didn't fear that my children were going to die constantly (still a fear, but it doesn't overcome me). I didn't put my husband in the grave when I saw a weird mole in his back (I literally was planning his funeral for nothing).
I look at my children NOT with fear. I now look at them with hope and anticipation. Who will they be? What quirks will stay with them as they get older? Why am I so blessed to be their mother and raise them into the men they will soon be?
When you look at your children, what do you feel?
This blog will be taking a little U-turn. It will be a very mixed blog pretty soon. A mixed blog just like my life - crafting, sewing, re-selling on eBay, selling on Etsy, garage saling, thrift store shopping, trying to start an online business, raising 2 very active boys and living with a husband that is sometimes a little hard to live with.
